Posted on

Piercing Conversations and Conversational Capacity

I had the privilege to attend a local Vistage meeting as a guest this morning.  The speaker was Craig Weber and the topic was about piercing conversations and conversational capacity.  Weber is an engaging speaker and did an excellent job of educating the group on the concept of conversational capacity.

The idea behind conversational capacity is that for any given group of people, there is a list of topics and / or issues that we could rank from most difficult at the top to the easiest at the bottom.  If we started at the bottom of the list the group could have productive conversations and proactively solve issues.  But as we work our way to the top of the list, the group will eventually stall out and become unproductive.  The higher up the list a given group can productively converse is a measure of its conversational capacity.

Weber states that when conversations get difficult most people tend to begin either “minimize” the conflict or trying to “win” the conflict.  The problem is that these two behaviors are unlikely to lead to the best possible outcomes.  And the most effective teams will find a way to operate in the “sweet spot” which is the middle ground between minimizing and winning.

After explaining the concept, Weber went on to provide some tips on how to build the conversational capacity in our given groups.

Tips for Maintaining the Correct Mindset in Meetings:

  • Ask yourself, “What am I seeing that others are missing?”
  • Ask yourself, “What are we all missing?  What are our blind-spots?”
  • Ask yourself, “What do others see on this issue that I don’t?”

Actions for effective decision making:

  • State your Position.
  • Explain your thinking.
  • Test your hypothesis:  “What am I missing?”
  • Inquiry

Common behaviors of Minimizers:

  • Passive body language.
  • Withholding their concerns.
  • Asking leading questions in an effort to backdoor their positions.
  • Feigning agreement.
  • Emailing opposing ideas as opposed to face-to-face conversations.

Common behaviors of Winners:

  • Aggressive body language.
  • No inquiry into opposing ideas or positions.
  • Dismissive of others ideas.
  • Stating opinions as fact.
  • Use of hyperbole.
  • Asking leading questions in order to sabotage other persons position.

Other interesting ideas and quotes from the presentation

  • Management’s business is building an organization that works!
  • Authority figures should generally weigh in last.
  • Your ego is the biggest enemy to your conversational capacity.
  • “Be that as it may,” is a very sophisticated way of saying “Whatever!”
  • A drowning person might know that they are drowning, but that is no substitute for knowing how to swim.
  • Most often in life, in order to actually get smarter, we have to feel dumber first.
  • The job of the executive is to to be right at the end of the meeting, not at the beginning of the meeting.

Harley Davidson Decision Levels:

  1. Top Down – No input required.
  2. Consultative – My Decision, but I want input.
  3. Consensus – Group Decision, and group input needed.
Posted on

Reading Notes: Men Are Waffles, Women Are Spaghetti

Authors:  Pam Farrel / Bill Farrel

Format: Audible

Subject:  Relationships

Rating: 5/10

Summary:

One morning last fall, I was having a casual conversation with a coworker about a remodeling project my wife and I were planning.  “I drive my poor wife crazy,” I said.  We will be discussing the project and next thing I know she is rambling off a seemingly never-ending list of ideas, questions, and concerns.  My response, “Whoa, one thing at a time!”  That is when my coworker laughed, and jokingly told me that I was a waffle.   She told me about a book she had read with her husband as part of their small group at church.  I was immediately intrigued.  In fact, I downloaded the book and began listening to it that day on my way to lunch.

The title of the book aptly defines its thesis that men process thoughts and emotions very differently than women.  Men tend to compartmentalize thoughts and emotions and subsequently deal with them one at a time.   The author relates these compartments to the individual squares you see on a waffle.  On the other hand, women tend to approach thoughts an emotions as part of a grand picture where everything is interconnected with everything else.  Hence the term spaghetti.  When you combine the two concepts, you wind up with spaghetti and waffles.

What I liked Most About the Book:  The title says it all.  Having a better understanding of how men and women process thoughts and emotions differently pays some hefty dividends.  The concept helps me communicate better with my wife, friends, and coworkers.

What I liked Least About the Book:  The author took an exceptional lesson and stretched it way to far.  This book could have easily been about a quarter of the length.  After the author teach the title-lesson, they spend the rest of the book desperately trying to project other aspects of their individual personalities and marriage onto the audience.

Memorable Quotes:

  • A man will strategically organize his life in boxes and then spend most of his time in the boxes he can succeed in.
  •  The bottom line with men is: they feel best about themselves when they are solving problems. Therefore, they spend most of their time doing what they are best at while they attempt to ignore the things which cause them to feel deficient.
Posted on

Reading Notes: Finally! Performance Assessment That Works: Big 5

nAuthor: Roger Ferguson

Format: Paperback

Subject: Performance Management

Rating: 7/10

Summary:
My boss recently had the chance to listen to a presentation on performance reviews by the author.  He liked what he heard.  So, he asked me to review this book and determine if the process might be useful in our organization.  The book is a very easy read; and does a good job summarizing the challenges with existing review processes.  It also does an ample job of outlining a simplified version that should produce better results with significantly less effort.  The premise is that traditional review systems are driven from top-down.  They are not done on a timely basis to have any real meaning on performance.  They take a ton of time and effort (high cost.)  And, they provide very little value for the company or its employees.

Ferguson’s proposed solution is that each employee records their 5 most important accomplishments from the prior month along with their 5 biggest priorities for the next month on a single sheet of paper that is then reviewed by their supervisor.  The supervisor should provide timely feedback on whether they agree or disagree with the priorities.  They should also provide any other necessary coaching to help ensure the employee is properly focused.  The remainder of the book covers tying these monthly check-ins to the annual review system.  It also discusses the pros and cons of using this tool as part compensation management.

Ferguson also recommends that companies simplify their compensation system.  He recommends giving all employees an x% unless the employee is on probation or some other sort of improvement plan.  He also recommends allotting a bonus compensation pool that allows managers to give their best employees an additional percentage increase.   His argument is that most managers are only allowed a certain % increase for their area anyway regardless of how great or bad their team is.  Don’t waste managers or employees time trying to justify giving employee A a 5% increase, employee B a 4.5% increase and employee C and employee D a 2% increase.

What I liked Most About the Book:  This is a very easy and quick read, and Ferguson’s system makes sense.

TLDR:

The “Dirty Dozen” Challenges of Traditional Performance Systems

  1. Tying individual goals to corporate goals is difficult if not impossible.
  2. Goals are seldom reliable for an entire year.  – The business world changes quickly and the best companies change course quickly.
  3. Metrics do not always tell the entire story.  – I am a HUGE proponent of metrics, but tying every employee to a meaningful metric is very difficult.  What metric should be used for the executive assistant?  What about the janitor?
  4. Even the best metrics can be manipulated by the employee.  –  I am aware that people often figure out a way to “game” a number, often at the cost of the company’s mission and overarching goals.
  5. Metrics are also subject to manipulation by management.  – By now it should be apparent that Ferguson is somewhat skeptical of metrics.
  6. This is not an employee driven process.  – The entire process often occurs with little involvement or value to the very employees it is designed to help.
  7. Annual Feedback is a very dated concept. – It is useless to provide feedback about activities that my have occurred months ago.  Employees need timely feedback.
  8. Managers spend too much time on the process.  –  This cost companies a lot of money and detracts from time that could be spent on issues that provide more value.
  9. Employees are skeptical of the process. –  Regardless of how hard I try, most of my employees think I don’t understand their work.  To be fair, as I have progressed from a specialized manager to more of a general manager this has become more and more true.  At least for the 80% of the things that my team does that provide 20% of their results.  I almost always have a pretty good understanding of the most important 20% of their work, but it is difficult getting employees to understand that concept.
  10. At some point in the management hierarchy, the process breaks down.  –  This has been the case more often than not as I have climbed through the ranks.  At some level in the organization, the process just doesn’t happen any more. – This causes any employee who goes through the review process to have that much distrust for the system.
  11. The process can create corporate liability. – Yes, I have personally read a lot of comments on reviews that made shake my head in bewilderment.
  12. It is difficult to tie performance to compensation.  –  This gets exponentially harder the more people you have involved.

Why the number 5?  Experience shows that it is a good number.  Some companies may find that some people/teams might make due with more or less.

The importance of 1 page:  Some employees will want to list all of their accomplishments.  It is important to teach them to list only the most important 5.  An other accomplishments section can be included last on the monthly report, but each items should be very brief.  The entire report should still fit on one page.

Big 5 Challenges:

  1. Monitoring Monthly Report Completion.  –  The program is only effective if it actually gets done.  Email seems to be the easiest way to administer the program, but that makes tracking and archiving at least somewhat difficult.
  2. Avoiding Creep.  – Unless the process is easy, people won’t do it.  Don’t let people tack anything additional to the process.
  3. HR & Legal Approval.  –  I tend to be directly responsible for these areas, so I don’t see them as being too much of a road block.
  4. Quality of the Managers Response –  This isn’t any bigger of a challenge than it is for a traditional review system, however, it can still only be effective if the managers give a meaningful review/response.

Other Notes:  Do not try to use this system for formal corrective actions.  Stick with the tried and true processes that you are already using.

Posted on

Reading Notes: How to Get Your Point Across in 30 Seconds or Less

Author: Milo O Frank

Format: Audible

Narrated By: Milo O Frank

Subject: Communication

Rating: 5/10

Summary:
This is a very basic, but useful book.  Having said that the title of the book sums up its content nicely which is how to get your point across in 30 seconds or less.  It is a very easy book to read and I believe the audible version was just over 45 minutes long.  The book breaks down the content of a good message into six distinct parts:

  • Have a Clear Objective.  What do you want to happen?
  • Talk to the right Audience.  Find out as much as you can about them. (Who)
  • Find the right Approach (face-to-face, phone call, email, brochure.)
  • Hook is used to get the audiences attention.  It can be a statement or a question.  What is the most unusual, exciting, or dramatic part of your message?
  • The Body of the message should include all the relevant details, (who, what, where,how, why.)
  • During the Close, make sure you have a Call to Action (or reaction.)  Ask for something specific and include a specific time frame.  A message without a close is a wasted opportunity.

The book also stresses the importance of painting visual pictures and appealing to the listener’s emotions.

Possible Use for this Book:  Could be very useful in writing a 30 second elevator pitch.

What I liked Most About the Book:  It made its point quickly.  The entire length takes about 45 minutes to listen to.

What I liked Least About the Book:  The 90s game show music that play throughout the audio book.  The various voice actors and voice-acting made the entire book seem like a cheesy infomercial.

Posted on

Reading Notes:  How to Talk to Anyone

Author: Leil Lowndes

Format: Audible

Narrated By: Joyce Bean; Liel Lowndes

Subject: Communication /Relationships

Rating: 6/10

Summary:

How to Talk to Anyone is a very useful book for anybody that doesn’t already consider themselves a social butterfly.  The author, Liel does an excellent job of breaking the subject matter down into bite sized chunks.   Doing so allows the reader to gradually comprehend and implement the ideas one step at a time.

Most of the “92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships,” presented in the book are useful, but a couple of dozen of them feel a bit forced.  I found the first dozen or so tips to be the most useful.

In Conclusion, I enjoyed How to Talk to Anyone.  I recommend it to anyone who wants to improve their own social IQ.

What I liked Most About the Book:  The bite sized chunks.

What I liked Least About the Book:  The references to Big Cats (for presumed big-shots) and Little Cats ( for ordinary people trying to pose as big-shots.)